Gosh, I hope you take me — and this blog — seriously. Because you know, I have…um…breasts.
Apparently, breast size is inversely proportionate to intellect and ability. They’re like the booby trap of the work world.
They cause grief when they’re taken out to feed babies, and can even hinder job advancement because men find them distracting. It seems that breasts have eye magnets attached, because they irresistibly draw men’s gazes. I used to experience this phenomenon myself. Of course, now that gravity has forced their gazes to fall a bit lower, men seem to have an easier time looking up into my eyes. Perhaps the eye magnets have a limited height span?
Okay, I’m kidding. Or I’m mostly kidding.
Because there have been lawsuits in which women (and it’s always women) have claimed that their sexiness led to discrimination in the workplace. Even outside of the traditional workplace, the notion of breasts “getting in the way” holds (pardon the pun) sway. I saw in a recent Us Weekly magazine that former Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, admitted that, yes, she had had breast implants and yes, she had them removed. All of which is fine. But Us also quotes a “source” as saying she had the implants removed because, “She wanted to be taken seriously.”
And that is where I feel my head exploding a little. Because, really, what does the size of the breasts you heft, have to do with intellectual heft? How does any woman buy into this? Does any man?
Can you imagine a man saying he wants a little nip and tuck to make his cock smaller so we’ll take him more seriously? I didn’t think so.