They say the clothes make the man. But apparently they can unmake him too.

Because recently, a politician in Ottawa let his underwear stop him from doing his job.

Now, as women, we’re used to persevering through wardrobe malfunctions.

But this politician told his fellow legislators that he had to miss a vote because he had bought cheap underwear that wound up being too small and he wasn’t able to sit still for very long.

You can’t make these things up. I had no idea I could blame my underwear for underachievement.

So, if one can blame one’s undergarments, then here is my list:

I would have been President by now, but that one pair of panties gave me a wedgie and the press misunderstood my corrective actions. The campaign went downhill after that.

I would have been a rock star, but the corset I wore one time prevented my ribs from expanding and I couldn’t hit a note. I was asked never to sing where anyone could hear me.

I would have been a hard-bodied goddess, but the sports bra gave me a uniboob and I never entered a gym again.

It all sounds rather silly, doesn’t it? And it is. Because, given how many really uncomfortable items of clothing women have worn in the name of beauty, it makes it really hard to have sympathy for a male politician whose whities were a little too tighty.

Underachieving in underwear

Underachieving in underwear



  1. mitternight

    True, ALLTHOUGHTSWORK. I could do the compression bra. Not sure even I could do the running trail, July or any other month. Hooray for you, though!!

    • mitternight

      Jacquie, all babies would be born by test tube if men had to go through labor. Although, to be fair, there’s a reason I had only one after going through labor once!

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